you and I both want you to go first
but for different reasons
and I admit that yours are far better than mine
yours are sweet
and mine are sour, selfish.
I have always known that your love for me
was stronger than mine for you
but yesterday
your position as a prototype, the click of our eyes
and your smiles even between the flashes of light
threw off my certainty.
you need something from a better book
than my kind
and for that you need not look further than through my eyes
because while you are blind
I see flashes of light
I see them all the time.
in person,
and in the X-rated movies in my head
your mouths open to each other
his hands in your hair
and I wonder what if he knew
that the thoughts he abhors so deeply I cherish